Jaded: The trials of being Bi

Being Bisexual is one of the hardest things in the world. Even if we are a part of the LGBT community, we're still taboo. Still outcasts. I feel mocked by all of the stupid, insecure girls who try to be by just to get guys... Or get fed up with men and decide to pretend to be lesbian. People like that don't know what its like or how hard it is to truly be bi. Bisexuals don't fit in on either side, we're not gay and we're not straight. Lesbians think I'm weird for liking men. But I was born this way... I can't help that I'm attracted to men. Many lesbians won't date a bi girl. It hurts... that we are rejected, in part, because there are so many straight girls pretending to be bi... No one wants to get hurt, so many lesbians assume all bi girls are really just straight girls playing games.This is what I'm left to assume of course. I've had girls who I've really like reject me because they were lesbian and I was bi. It feels like someone rejecting you based on the color of your skin... or your nationality. Love should transcend all boundaries. Race, Nationality, Gender, Sex, Identity, Class, Religion, etc, etc.

Love is as devastating a power as a hurricane, as any force of nature, and yet is as necessary to life as the rains that fall from the heavens.

On being Bi... Part 2

I always wonder about people... The ones that say being gay is a choice... I wish I had a choice... But I'd probably choose to be a Lesbian, but I was born this way. I can't help that I'm attracted to men...HAHAHA!!!

Anyway, being Bi is sooooo much different than being gay or straight. I like both. But I get excluded a lot more for that fact.... The Lesbian community says, "You like men???!!! That's sooo weird!" (I'm generalizing, but still.)

Straight women say, "EWWWWW! You like women! Don't hit on me!!!" (Again, generalizing... with a bit of dramatization.)

Straight men say, "Oh my god that's sooooo hot. Does this mean we can have a threesome? Can I watch... ect" OR "What?!!! Why?!!!" (Now I'm not dramatizing!)

Gay men say, "Ohhhhhh... cool." and then act afraid of me...

NOT all, but this is a taste of what I've gotten.

Lesbian's typically DO NOT like being with a Bi chick. Why? Because its hard for a bi woman to feel satisfied by just a woman or just a man. This is where the stereotype of bi's loving or wanting to have a threesome comes from. I will say that I am polyamorous, but I don't think that I'd like to have group sex. I'm not against the idea, but I'm not for it either. I've had two lesbian girlfriends. One dom, one sub. My dom girlfriend was too dom for me, as I generally tend to be dom but not butch.

As I like to say, I'm too Dom to be Lipstick, and too Lipstick to be Butch. This is what lead me to the realization that I'm a Dominatrix. I'm an utter sadistic pugilist...

Anyway... Its hard to be bi, we're always standing on a fine line... not being entirely gay, not being entirely straight. We don't exactly fit in with the Gay community, and we don't exactly fit in with the straight community. So its even harder to find our place.

I had a friend who's mother believed in Gays, but didn't believe in Bi's. And that really saddened me... That a Catholic woman could accept gays... but not accept Bisexual as an actual sexual orientation....

Having Sex with a Woman... as a woman

Not that I've ever been a man, but you get what I'm saying. If you've read my earlier blogs, you'll know that I'm Bi, but I'm not out to my parents. My mother is a bit homophobic. My first time was with my long time girlfriend, I mean we were off and on because of distance, but we had been together for about two years.

I trust her completely.

Trust is a huge issue in sex and relationships. We were together and passionately in love and just went for it. We got a hotel room. Took a bath together. We laid on the bed and started kissing and touching and exploring...

I achieved orgasm twice. After that, nothing really changed between us; she went home and I stayed in Colorado. When we're together we're together and when we're apart we're not.

On being Bisexual...

Okay I'd like to start off by saying that I am NOT a freak.... not a sex addict.... not a sex fiend... not a pedophile... and I am most definitely NOT attracted to all women, or men for that matter.

Now that that's out of the way, we can really start this conversation, and I, maybe, hope to teach at least one person something that they didn't know.

I started to figure out that I was bisexual when I was about nine, I guess. Its not like I'd stare at the girls in gym or anything, I just started having feelings for a really close friend. I had my first girlfriend when I was 12. Though we broke up, we remained friends and are still pretty close. Its kinda weird.... I've always been able to stay friends with my ex girlfriends, but never with my ex boyfriends. Over the past few years.... I've had four "official" girlfriends and seven boyfriends.

While I've been out of the closet with my friends for about five years; I still haven't come out to my family, especially not my parents... So I'm kinda afraid to post this but I think I need to.