Manic Month for Paranoia

This is my Manic Month for Paranoia.... I'm constantly paranoid during this month, and honestly.... I can't remember the events of any January during my Life.... 17 Januaries that I can't remember... Right now I feel like my minds racing and I can't stop my thoughts. I hope this blog will help me, at least I'll have something to keep track of this month with... Right now I'm paranoid that my neighbor has been stealing my mail... or my boyfriend's mom!!! I know I sound crazy, I feel crazy!!!! My Paranoia feels like a weird feeling in my stomach and in my head. In my stomach it feels like dread, but not exactly. I'm not hallucinating yet, so that's always good! I've been trying to focus on a lot of other things... but its catching up to me quick, this feeling. Any way, school starts the 17th which is Monday, at least that will give me something to focus on.

Currently...

I am going through the depressive phase of my manic phase... if that makes sense... I can't tell anymore. This is why I am taking a break from making videos.... I have what I want in my head, but I can't get the ambition to actually do it. I'm tired, sad, angry, confused, apathetic. I just feel really bad right now. It will start to get better, hopefully, over the next couple of weeks. Until then a ll anyone can do is wait.